Having read parts of Tim Keller’s and Mark Driscoll’s new
books on marriage, I have been struck by one thought. A man ought usually to wait until he is older before he offers his
wisdom to others.
When Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, began his reign, the
Scriptures tell of how he consulted first with the old men, then with “the
young men who had grown up with him” on how he ought to rule. This was a matter
of wisdom – the application of truth to a certain situation. There were
specific principles for the kings of Israel to follow, but Rehoboam’s question
was more in the line of ethos or style. What would his reign feel and look
like. 1 Kings 12 goes to rather extensive pains to show that Rehoboam’s folly was in listening to the young men,
rather than the old men. And this notion holds true in general.
I recall an old pastor telling me once, “You may want to
wait a few years before you preach on parenting.” That was good advice since my
kids were 5 and 2 I pretty much thought I knew all there was to raising
children – everybody’s children! I also tended to think the Bible had much more
to say about parenting than it really does. Thankfully, I mostly kept my mouth
shut other than to say specifically what the Bible said on the topic. That has enabled a few less regrets at
this stage of my ministry.
This has been one of my fears for Pastor Driscoll through
the years. I think he has tended to write “too close to the lesson.” Even this
latest book, if I read the chronology right, seems to say that all the good
things he is directing us to do are things he has really only applied in his
marriage in the last 3-4 years. I am glad where Biblical truth is changing any
marriage, but I think it is not wise to speak of seeing huge long-term results
so close to their application.
In comparison, Pastor Keller purposefully waited until he
was older in years and experience to write a book on marriage. Frankly, I think
he has a lot more to say not only because of the manner in which he approaches
the subject, but because he has lived through 37 years of applying this Truth
in marriage. His own and others.
In a fast-paced culture like ours, we do well to remember
that God has created things in such a way that our older folks ought to be
sought out for their opinions first. And if you are a young man, you do well to
work out your salvation in fear and trembling and a certain level of quietness
now. Your day to impart wisdom to others will come soon enough, and you may
find that the humbling of years gives you far less to say.
