tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11006198.post1593024302162686486..comments2023-08-24T06:39:31.113-04:00Comments on Preacher Thoughts: Considering Special Needs in Church: Ramps and Relationships (PART TWO)Paulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13529451903923820189noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11006198.post-51925959016526886612007-06-06T11:32:00.000-04:002007-06-06T11:32:00.000-04:00Annette,I don't know the particulars of the situat...Annette,<BR/>I don't know the particulars of the situation you're in, but I can say that I regularly turn down offers for help. In my case, I greatly appreciate the offers, and the fact that someone is offering at all is so encouraging to me, so that alone is helpful. However, much of what is offered to me would not actually be helpful. For example, I have numerous offers to drop my kids off at others' homes for an evening. Sometimes, that might be helpful. But usually, it is not, as it would upset my son's routine (who has special needs), and then I would pay dearly for it for days after, so it wouldn't be worth it. I usually tell people how thankful I am for their offer, and say that just knowing they are available if I need them is a relief (and it is indeed). <BR/>Perhaps on your end you could just ask what WOULD be helpful or encouraging to the family. Leave it open ended, and assure them that you would love to do whatever they need (but only say that if you mean it!) If all they say is "please pray for us", then faithfully pray, follow up, and regularly ask for specific requests. There are many practical aspects of having a child with a disability that cannot be relieved or fixed by others, but a little encouragement can go a long way in helping to make the load a little easier to bear.<BR/><BR/>SandraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11006198.post-84759068149210115272007-06-06T08:46:00.000-04:002007-06-06T08:46:00.000-04:00What I find hard is having offers of help refused....What I find hard is having offers of help refused. like totally refused. knowing that it's hard to ask for help all the time (or what might seem as all the time) I can understand wanting to maintain some pride and independence. I really can understand that. <BR/><BR/>BUT when a person refuses offers of help for getting to church on a Sunday morning, or to have someone sit with their child so that they can leave the house and go to a bible study....that I find hurts the body of Christ too. <BR/><BR/>How does one deal with that? How can someone support someone else who refuses to be helped in small ways?Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07731853888897956775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11006198.post-81474465435182501332007-06-05T17:11:00.000-04:002007-06-05T17:11:00.000-04:00I think you hit the nail on the head, Paul. While...I think you hit the nail on the head, Paul. While we are still infants ourselves in the world of special needs (our son with Williams Syndrome is only 16 months), we find the hardest part when it comes to church is knowing that we are being wrongly judged by people who don't really know our situation. A big dose of humility on everyone's part (including our own) would solve so much. Our son's disability is not very obvious yet, and even if you do know about it, it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal from the outside looking in, yet it affects us in profound ways. Right now, it keeps us from being able to serve in the church as much as we would like. Even being at church at all can feel like a luxury. From the outside, we look flaky and uninvolved, and sadly sometimes we are looked down on because of it. We'd rather be encouraged than judged!<BR/><BR/>This is definitely not the norm; we have found so many of our dear friends and fellow believers to be caring and very willing to help and encourage us (and for that, we are eternally grateful!) But I think the saying goes, it takes ten positive comments to neutralize one negative. Nobody likes to be kicked while they are down.<BR/><BR/>SandraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com